4Rs to Disclosing Disaster to Children: Rare, Reveal, Reassure, Reason

Information from: “Crisis and Acute Play Therapy Interventions following Tragic Events
Colorado Association for Play Therapy.” February 27, 2021, Janine Shelby, Ph.D., RPT-S.

1. Begin by acknowledging a RARE event occurred
2. Reveal–Name the event briefly with facts, not feelings
3. Reassure the child that it is not their fault
4. Offer a factual reason why the event happened
5. Effects–name some possible outcomes following the event
Rare / Reveal
▪ “Today, something happened that does not usually happen . [ Briefly describe in 1-2
sentences] “XXX because YYY.” (10 people were killed at a grocery because a man shot them.)
– Don’t drag out the reveal, children get anxious as they wait in fear for the news
– Kids do not usually contradict the idea that the event is rare, but if they do, be honest
and name how frequently it happens
– “This has only happened 4 times in my life.”
– “I’m going to find out how many times this has happened before <in this town>”
Reassure
▪ “You are safe now/in as safe a place as I/we could find.
“[If true] Your family/friends are safe.”
OR
▪ “A lot of people are working hard to try to keep you/as many people as possible safe.”
Reason
▪ “The [event] is not your fault at all. It happened because [brief, developmentally appropriate
explanation].
“ A lot of people are trying to figure out why this happened.”
• Pause to allow time to absorb or ask questions
– Kids may be overwhelmed or numb, but they still need the basic information
• “Now, <name the anticipated effects>”
– People might talk or cry about this a lot.
– You may feel confused/sad/scare/upset/ nervous.
– Your parents might feel xxx, too.
– Your friends might talk about this too.
– You/your family will stay here until you have a safe place to live.
Questions and Clarification: Ask, Repeat, Correct
• Do you have any questions about this?
• You can ask the child to repeat what you said/anything they heard from other people–so long
as they are not extremely upset, overwhelmed, disorganized or does not wish to speak
“You might hear some rumors about this at school or social media. You can always ask me if
something is true and I’ll get the correct information.”

• Correct any misunderstanding
Tips:
• Do Your Best To Respond Honestly
• Respond Simply for Younger Children and More Elaborately for Older Children
• Avoid Extreme Language (e.g., “horrific” or “hopeless”)
• Maintain the Perspective That The Discussion Is a Valuable and Powerful Opportunity to
Teach Children How To Survive Adversity and Address Difficult Situations
Coping:
• After sufficient time has lapsed, consider appropriateness of soothing/coping techniques
– No one can undo what happened, but doing [aaa] might make you feel better.
– You can help [caregivers, siblings, direct survivors] by [bbb].
• Remember, it is ok/normal to have strong feelings right now.
Information